How well do you know your own eyes

A quote

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories that it has become to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet in this way that love begins and in this way only. The rest is only the rest, and comes afterwards. Nothing is more real than these great shocks, which two souls give each other in exchanging this spark.


Our eyes give away our innermost secrets. They can communicate attraction and desire and even over distance we can sense when some one is watching us. But have you ever experienced love at first sight? Opinion differ as to the reliability and longevity of such instantaneous attraction, yet it is a phenomenon which seems to strike at the very heart of many and which is celebrated in folklore, mythology and love songs.

In fact, as infants, we express many our needs and desires exclusively through eyes. This facility is something we never lose. The eye skills we learn at this early stage in our lives are critical in establishing and maintaining bonds with other people. Just think about these descriptive phrases: smoldering eyes; icy stare; looking daggers; if looks could kill you; shifty eyes; the green eyed monster; eyes of an angel; piercing blue eyes; sheep’s eyes; bedroom eyes; giving someone the evil eye or the glad eye. They always convey a deep-rooted message or two.

The science of eyes

The eyes are the most important tools in the successful use and understanding of sexual non-verbal communication. They are highly attuned ultra-sensitive sensory organs, shown by psychologists to be 18 times more sensitive than our ears, as measured by the relative size of the optic and cochlear nerves. They are vital both as receptors of non-verbal sexual signals, and as sensual communicators, capable of transmitting intimate covert and overt messages straight into the consciousness of other people.

The secrets and a peep into eyes

Let’s examine some of the psychological secrets that researches have discovered have discovered about the eyes. Experts in this field tell us that the larger the pupil size the more interested we are in what we are looking at, and that this is also a direct indicator of sexual interest and arousal. Research further confirms that men found photographs of women more attractive when the pupils are dilated, likewise, women experience the same reaction.

Setting a romantic mood by turning down the lights partly achieves its success through the resultant pupil dilation, which makes us appear simultaneously attractive and more turned-on. It has exactly the same effect on our companion. This is why candle light dinners are synonymous with romance – candlelight is not only flattering to skin color and texture, it encourages and shows off our pupil dilation to best effect.

The magic of eyes

Stating & Gazing

Let’s analyze two important words associated with our eyes. STARING & GAZING. They are not at all the same thing. One is attacking and the other Inviting. A stare is like shooting invisible arrows from your eyes into the eyes of the person on the receiving end, leaving them cold and defensive or feeling invaded. A gaze, however, welcomes a person into our line of sight, and into our eyes. The person upon whom we gaze feels great warmth. Women generally gaze more than men. This many be because they are often more attentive listeners. Women find the eyes of men who gaze well attractive, the more so because many men are unskilled at this.

Blinks & Winks

Every time we blink we re-moisturize the surface. The rate at which we blink has a profound unconscious effect on any one looking at or into our eyes. Just think for a minute of the excitement and tension (and often arousal) that takes place in when you play the ‘stating game’. To induce a romantic feel, however, by all means blink. If some one looks at us eye-to-eye and is very attracted to us, not only will that person’s pupil size increase, so will their blink rate. You can increase the blink rate of the person to whom you are talking by blinking more yourself; if the person likes you he or she will unconsciously try to match your blink rate to keep in synchrony with you. This will in turn make you both feel attracted to each other.

The wink proper is a fantastically powerful sexual signal when it is employed by women, but is often something of a turn-off when used by men. Men can use winks to send a clear message of sexual intent towards a woman, but they are best delivered subtlety. The ‘quieter’ the wink, the more pleasing it is to receive. Delivered in conjunction with a gentle smile it can be devastating.

Tip of the day

One of the most erotic ways to touch someone early in an intimate encounter is to give them a ‘butterfly kiss’.

Now what is a ‘butterfly kiss”? This is when you gently caress the cheek or may be the nose of the other person with the tips of the eyelashes of one eye. Try it now on the palm of your hand if you’ve never tried it before. It’s a lovely, soft, tickling feeling.

P.S. Your eyes are your most precious assets in the armory of signals available to you when applying the secrets of attraction, so use them wisely.